There’s something I’ve started noticing more and more over the years. The jewellery we stop reaching for often tells us just as much as the jewellery we suddenly begin craving. Not because our taste changed overnight. But because we did.
Sometimes it happens quietly. A ring you wore every single day for years suddenly stays in the jewellery box. Earrings that once felt completely “you” begin to feel strangely loud. Or heavy. Or distant. And then, without fully understanding why, you find yourself drawn to something entirely different. I’ve experienced this recalibration many times in my own life.
Years ago, when I graduated as a gemmologist just before the birth of my third child, my husband gave me a Mandarin garnet. I had the stone set into a ring I absolutely loved. At the time, it felt completely right. Not just aesthetically, but emotionally. It reflected who I was then — how I moved through the world, what I valued, what I needed. And I wore it constantly for years. Then slowly, without anything dramatic happening, I stopped reaching for it. There wasn’t a decision. Nothing had gone wrong. It simply no longer met me in the same way.
Years later, after I had bought my jewellery business and started creating my own work, I had the stone remade into a completely different ring. The same stone. But I was no longer the same woman.
Looking back now, I can see that jewellery has always reflected the version of myself I felt safe being at the time.
Certain pieces belonged to periods where I was still holding myself differently. Softer in some ways. Smaller in others. More externally referenced. More careful. And as my relationship with visibility, creativity, ageing, self-trust and identity evolved, the pieces I was drawn to evolved too.
I don’t think we choose jewellery purely aesthetically. I think we choose it through the body. Through what feels emotionally and energetically aligned with who we are becoming. Through what level of visibility, confidence, softness, sensuality or presence our nervous system is currently able to hold.
Because jewellery is never just decoration. It becomes part of how we experience ourselves. Part of how we carry ourselves. Part of how we allow ourselves to be seen. And I noticed this especially during periods of major transition like menopause, grief, creative expansion, motherhood, setting up a business.
The years where who we’ve been no longer fully fits, but who we are becoming still feels unfamiliar. Our body changes first. Then slowly, our identity catches up. And eventually, even the objects around us begin to shift. The jewellery that once felt right no longer reflects who we are now. And the jewellery we suddenly feel drawn to often carries something new. A different relationship with ourselves.
Sometimes I think the jewellery that suddenly calls to us is not random at all. It’s recognition. A future version of ourselves appearing slightly ahead of where we currently are. And something inside us already knows it.
That may be why certain pieces feel almost impossible to ignore when we encounter them. Because some part of us already recognises the person we are becoming. The pieces we wear become part of how we move through life. They hold memories. They become tied to certain versions of ourselves. They stay with us through periods of enormous change. And sometimes they begin to feel unfamiliar as we change. A new piece often enters our life at exactly the moment we are ready for something different.
The jewellery your future self chooses is not trying to change you. It’s helping you recognise yourself sooner.
